Leave Your Ego At The Door

by Tom Furman

One thing that becomes clear is that there is always conflict. Idealist want us to aspire to a imaginary, higher, level, where we don’t have differences. That is an illusion. Conflict will always exist and as warriors understand, it is never cured, only managed.

Based on the idea of conflict or differences, we often entertain discussion, argument or verbal wars with each other. They could be in person or they are often on the internet. Modern social media, proceeded by newsgroups, chat and forums are an endless source of arguing various points of contention. The power we do have is that of linking to reference. It’s like a lawyer producing evidence in a trial. If it does not fit, you must acquit.

The concept of, “Leave your ego at the door”, is, at least in my memory, from Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. For anyone who has hit the mats will understand, when you think you are better, good for you. Just be able to show it on the mat or pay the price. It is not a challenge, it is a cooperative relationship, when you “roll”, you are helping each other. Both sides win. To clarify, you either win or learn. You start with shaking hands and end with shaking hands. You respect one another. The wonderful feeling of family, the growth of the training group and the fun of physical exertion/perfection are a marvelous reward.

The polar opposite is the realm of the Master. His experience is not demonstrated in any type of physical challenge, but in diplomas, blurry photos, mystical demonstrations and ever changing tall tales. When I started martial arts in 1973, “dojo wars” were more common because lawyers had not figured out how to find fighters who wanted to sue for liability. [you kicked my butt, however my lawyer is tougher than yours]. People would claim near magical abilities with paper certificates that proclaimed them as masters. As we heard many a real fighter say, “..they can bury with your certificate”.

What am I getting to? Simply, the ability to discuss a topic using evidence has to be done with a metaphorical handshake. It has to be based on EVIDENCE and you have to understand what is good evidence and what is opinion.

When someone doesn’t have these skills, they will resort to these logical fallacies –